O Hexcentric! – A ballad to an unsung hero

A trio of Hexes (Source: REI)
Hexcentric! O Hexcentric!

Unloved by most
Hated by some
But you can count
On a friend, but just one.

That’s me, O Hexcentric!
I’ll be your pal!
I’ll place you forever
You know that I shall.

Some say that you’re useless
And have limited range
But we both know that statement
Is a little bit strange.

You’ll fit in constrictions
Where no others will
Deep in wide cracks
Which cams cannot fill.

You’ll often be bomber
When other gear fails
And you’re often a feature
In my most legendary tales.

You’re versatile, handy,
Both active and passive
The range of your sizes
Is really quite massive

You come with a wire
Or sometimes a sling
And this is a bonus,
A really neat thing.

It lowers the drag
Of that pesky rope
A task which, alone,
Other pieces can’t cope.

You’re light as a feather
When compared to a bag
Of spring-loaded devices
With a hefty price tag.

Some say you’re noisy

Actually… they’re 100% right.

Fucking hell, Hexcentric. You are the loudest, most obnoxious thing in the known universe. I take back all those nice things I said about you… You’re dead to me.

Ryan Siacci, Esq.
July 2017

Thoughts? Opinions? Cries of dissent?

You May Also Like
Read More

In Praise of Grovelling

In his book, 9 out of 10 climbers make the same mistakes, Dave MacLeod argues that the best…
Read More
Read More

Arbiters of the Arbitrary

Immediately following the completion of the Rock 402 course, I was charged with driving our erstwhile chariot, an…
Read More