O Hexcentric! – A ballad to an unsung hero

A trio of Hexes (Source: REI)
Hexcentric! O Hexcentric!

Unloved by most
Hated by some
But you can count
On a friend, but just one.

That’s me, O Hexcentric!
I’ll be your pal!
I’ll place you forever
You know that I shall.

Some say that you’re useless
And have limited range
But we both know that statement
Is a little bit strange.

You’ll fit in constrictions
Where no others will
Deep in wide cracks
Which cams cannot fill.

You’ll often be bomber
When other gear fails
And you’re often a feature
In my most legendary tales.

You’re versatile, handy,
Both active and passive
The range of your sizes
Is really quite massive

You come with a wire
Or sometimes a sling
And this is a bonus,
A really neat thing.

It lowers the drag
Of that pesky rope
A task which, alone,
Other pieces can’t cope.

You’re light as a feather
When compared to a bag
Of spring-loaded devices
With a hefty price tag.

Some say you’re noisy

Actually… they’re 100% right.

Fucking hell, Hexcentric. You are the loudest, most obnoxious thing in the known universe. I take back all those nice things I said about you… You’re dead to me.

Ryan Siacci, Esq.
July 2017

Thoughts? Opinions? Cries of dissent?